对他所有的委屈,怨恨,哭诉,不解和愤懑,但最终不过是汇聚成“我想你”这三个字,但是这三个字我再也对他说不出口了。
我想做的,不仅仅是告诉他“I miss you”,我想做的,还有像从前一样,在拥抱他之前,嗅嗅他的脖子和后耳朵,然后给他一个紧紧的拥抱。
但是他说“我想你”这几个字太乏味了。除了这几个字,我对他说不出其他的话了。我不能再讨他欢心,不能再和他开玩笑,不能再趴在他身上死皮赖脸,不能摆出一副傻气的笑脸,不能,不能......
我明明知道他已不会再回头,他已出发在路上寻找自己的幸福,但还是忍不住死皮赖脸地给他发了两次好友申请。我明知道他不会再通过了,明知道我们再也不会有以后了,可还是偏执地想要去试探。
可是,没有他的生活真的好难熬。我总觉得自己在数着日子过。
如果我过得好一些,遇到好一点的人,是不是就可以摆脱过去的束缚了。
我想应该是的吧。但我也不敢确认。因为已经过去四年了。曾经耳磨鬓腮的时间已经过去4年多了。我觉得我已经失去了爱的能力。我知道或许是他不值得,但是曾经的我,没有得到一个相应的回应,我很放不下。我不理解,我不懂,我不明白。
我们相爱吗?我不知道。我爱他吗?我认为是的。可是,他爱过我吗?我不知道。爱过吗?或许在某个瞬间吧?全程爱着吗,好像不是的。
可是每想起他送我去火车站的路上,我总觉得我一回头他就在原地等我,我总觉得那个舍不得我离开的他,下一次下下次都会在出站口等我,举起手来一边打电话一边盯住我喊“Chin!”,我总觉得那些亲密的让人嫉妒的笑声和拥抱,还能在原地等我。
可是这些我都不会再有了。我很清楚,这辈子我都不会再有了。
一想到这,眼泪就哗哗掉下来。
我多希望他可以想我啊!我想,他再也不会了。就算偶尔想起我,也会觉得幸好离开了我吧。
真的很希望可以有一个人走进我的生活,取代他的位置。就算取代不了,能够让我不想起他也会让我的生活轻松一些吧。
For all my grievances, resentment, crying, confusion and anger, in the end only converge into the three words“I miss you“, but these three words I can no longer say to him.
What I wanted to do was not just tell him“I miss you“, but to sniff his neck and the back of his ears and give him a tight hug like I always did.
But he said the words“I miss you“ were too boring. I couldn't say anything to him other than these words. I can't please him, can't joke with him, can't make face to him and put on a silly smile, can't, can't......
I knew that he would never look back, that he was already on his way to find his own happiness, but I still couldn't help but shamelessly sent him two friend requests. I know he will not answer, know that we will never have a future, but still paranoid to test.
It's hard to live without him. I always feel like I'm counting the days.
If I live better, meet better people, is it possible to get rid of the shackles of the past?
I think so. But I'm not sure. Because it's been four years. It has been
本章未完,请点击下一页继续阅读